I found this interesting article on Babygaga.com about "parallel parenting" as opposed to co-parenting. The jist of it is that parallel parenting is ideal in cases where the parents to a child engage in a more business like relationship when it comes to parenting. Co-parenting is only possible when the two parents involved can communicate and work together on a mutually agreed upon parenting plan. When communication and collaboration are not possible, parallel parenting is the next best thing. Read more about parallel parenting here.
An item of future conflict that is often overlooked when knee-deep in a divorce, is how both parties will address relationships with significant others in the future.
The goal of mediation is to reduce the amount of conflict not only during divorce, but in a way that sets up a good foundation to avoid conflict in the future.
This is a good article with a free worksheet for co-parents to use as a reference. There is a lot to consider when it comes to when and how to introduce a new romantic partner to your co-parent and kids.
I don't often look to celebrities for their life choices, but in this case, it's great to see what ANYONE is doing for co-parenting that WORKS. Co-parenting is such an essential part of an divorce. It requires a lot of planning, communication and coordination.
If you're looking to be inspired, check out this article on insider.com
5 Signs Mediation Won’t Work for Your Divorce, According to a Mediation Expert - Dr. jann blackstoneRead Now
A new article on Yahoo.com goes over 5 basic signs that mediation may not prove to be productive.
Dr. Jann Blackstone says they are:
1. There’s So Much Animosity, You Can’t Talk to Each Other
2. There’s a History of Drug or Alcohol Abuse or Domestic Violence
3. There’s a Mental Health Issue
4. There’s No Seeing Eye-to-Eye on Custody
5. One—or Both—Parties Aren’t Willing to Put in the Time Needed to Sort Things Out
For more details and information, click on the link. In the State of Utah, parents seeking divorce are REQUIRED to attempt mediation unless they have a court exception. Just because it might not be productive does not mean you can avoid it all together. If you are looking for a mediator, reach out to us today and schedule your mediation.
The Digital Journal posted this about the costs of litigated divorce vs. mediated divorce.
"When going through a divorce process, money is often the last thing people want to add to their list of worries. Choosing to go through a litigated divorce is estimated to cost couples up to $32,000 and that’s if things go well as planned. In most cases, the cases don’t go well and even more money ends up being spent. Thankfully, mediated divorce offers a far more cost-effective alternative as everything can be mediated."
Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4715373#ixzz6Perjnhwq
Digital Journal just posted an article called 'Mediation is the Secret to a Simple and Cost-Effective Divorce.
Naturally, this may seem obvious, but may still be an under utilized option.
In many cases the emotional and mental distress caused by divorce can cause parties to have tunnel vision and render them incapable of thinking through possible alternatives that are less-costly.
"Anger and disappointments are common feelings in most divorce negotiation processes. In most cases, the involved parties have a hard time reaching agreement on divorce issues such as child custody, division of property, child support, and visitation issues among others. However, mediation often provides the divorcing spouses an opportunity to take control of their future lives by resolving the contentious issues without the necessity of litigation."
Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4715373#ixzz6PeqffwL5
Lexology.com featured a great article discussing the challenges of co-parenting during COVID-19. It may seem obvious that communication is not only important but essential in new ways during this “new normal”. They recommend finding the most effective means of communication and agreeing upon terms and use of that communication. It is important that co-parents are open and forthcoming about how they plan to approach parenting during their time. These methods of improved communication can be discussed and organized without tension in mediation. Contact us to schedule today.
Familylawweek.co.uk posted an article about how to have mediation during a lockdown. They mention a lot of the issues that may need to be addressed during a lockdown situation:
What are some of the issues that could be addressed in mediation, that separated parents are facing during this unprecedented time?
The following is by no means an exhaustive list, but sets out some examples:
It is always helpful to look at other resources and see what other mediators are addressing during these ever-changing circumstances. If you need mediation to discuss these issues, contact us today. Don’t wait.
Law.com posted an article discussing how fortunate it is that the legal profession can thrive virtually as the many other industries are unable to adapt. They focus a few paragraphs on Mediation specifically and how it is essentially the same as in-person:
The Zoom technology is remarkably easy to use. The virtual mediations I’ve done so far have involved participants covering the entire spectrum of computer prowess, and all have fared quite well. More importantly, the real engine of successful mediations–personal connections—hits on all eight cylinders in the virtual format. Following one recent virtual mediation of a significant injury case, the defense attorney told me how she was able to adjust her comments in the opening by reading the reaction of the plaintiff on the video. Just as with in-person mediations, the real-time feedback is there.
So, from the perspective of our clients, virtual mediations have been an unequivocal success. And I can also say that, from a mediator’s perspective, it is no less so. Success for mediators comes only when we can personally connect with the parties and counsel. A quote attributed to Teddy Roosevelt says, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” At the mediation of any significant case, there comes a point when I am leading clients, step by step, to a place that, though necessary to get to, is tough terrain to traverse. If they don’t trust my judgment and motivation, they won’t take my hand. If you had asked me, even weeks ago, if this level of rapport could be established over a virtual medium, I would have said, “No way.” I was wrong. Happily, thankfully, mercifully, I was very wrong.
Done Medation plans to resume all mediations via videoconferencing using Zoom as mentioned in this article. To schedule a mediation for yourself, contact us today.
timminstoday.com posted an article recently that gave some helpful tips to divorced parents. Click on the link above to read it for yourself. They gave much of the same advice as other articles mentioned in this blog pertaining to COVID-19, but they bring up the idea of keeping on task with creating a “temporary” parenting plan and leaving the big issues for later in this way:
Nail down off-limit conversations
After ensuring children’s physical safety is looked after, Stewart advises mapping out how to protect their emotional health. One way is to put all conversations that lead to heated arguments or stress on hold.
“We’re not going to talk about the future financial situation. We’re not going to talk about long-term custody arrangements,” Stewart said.
“We are going to deal with this short term. So there should be some conversations that are taken off the table until this is done. If you’re dealing with lawyers, put them at bay.”
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.