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I don't often look to celebrities for their life choices, but in this case, it's great to see what ANYONE is doing for co-parenting that WORKS.  Co-parenting is such an essential part of an divorce.  It requires a lot of planning, communication and coordination.  

If you're looking to be inspired, check out this article on insider.com 

A new article on Yahoo.com goes over 5 basic signs that mediation may not prove to be productive. 

Dr. Jann Blackstone says they are:
1. There’s So Much Animosity, You Can’t Talk to Each Other
2. There’s a History of Drug or Alcohol Abuse or Domestic Violence
3. There’s a Mental Health Issue
4. There’s No Seeing Eye-to-Eye on Custody
5. One—or Both—Parties Aren’t Willing to Put in the Time Needed to Sort Things Out

​For more details and information, click on the link.  In the State of Utah, parents seeking divorce are REQUIRED to attempt mediation unless they have a court exception.  Just because it might not be productive does not mean you can avoid it all together.  If you are looking for a mediator, reach out to us today and schedule your mediation.  

The Digital Journal posted this about the costs of litigated divorce vs. mediated divorce. 

"When going through a divorce process, money is often the last thing people want to add to their list of worries. Choosing to go through a litigated divorce is estimated to cost couples up to $32,000 and that’s if things go well as planned. In most cases, the cases don’t go well and even more money ends up being spent. Thankfully, mediated divorce offers a far more cost-effective alternative as everything can be mediated."

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4715373#ixzz6Perjnhwq

Digital Journal just posted an article called 'Mediation is the Secret to a Simple and Cost-Effective Divorce.  

Naturally, this may seem obvious, but may still be an under utilized option.  

In many cases the emotional and mental distress caused by divorce can cause parties to have tunnel vision and render them incapable of thinking through possible alternatives that are less-costly.  

"Anger and disappointments are common feelings in most divorce negotiation processes. In most cases, the involved parties have a hard time reaching agreement on divorce issues such as child custody, division of property, child support, and visitation issues among others. However, mediation often provides the divorcing spouses an opportunity to take control of their future lives by resolving the contentious issues without the necessity of litigation."

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4715373#ixzz6PeqffwL5

Lexology.com featured a great article discussing the challenges of co-parenting during COVID-19.  It may seem obvious that communication is not only important but essential in new ways during this “new normal”.  They recommend finding the most effective means of communication and agreeing upon terms and use of that communication.  It is important that co-parents are open and forthcoming about how they plan to approach parenting during their time.  These methods of improved communication can be discussed and organized without tension in mediation.  Contact us to schedule today.  

WKRN.com is reporting that more couples are in need of marriage counseling services during the pandemic.  The couples usually have unresolved issues in their relationship and due to having to spend 24 hours a day together, they can’t ignore those issues or avoid them.  If counseling during the pandemic is not possible for a couple, they recommend “Time outs” where individuals have time apart, even if they are in the same house.  Click on the image to see the report or read more on this topic.  

You don’t have to be a celebrity to get good legal advice. People magazine posted an article by Celebrity Lawyer Laura Wasser.  Some of her clients include: Jennifer Garner, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise and Kim Kardashian.  The main take away is something she says regularly: “try and utilize the three Cs: consideration, cooperation and communication. Adaptation and flexibility is key during this time,” says Wasser, 51. “A big part of this is the communication. Whenever there’s change, you have a situation where people are having to adapt to that change.”

​I couldn’t agree more.  Although there are plenty of reasons to fight harder during this time, there is also an opportunity to turn in and slow down as well.  

I found this article on Cornell University’s website fascinating!  I knew there were already some forms of “tone meter” when you text or message through some applications, but this is next level.  I can certainly see how AI could do a better job at being unbiased, but I think the human factor or being able to read body language and power dynamics are also extremely important in mediation.  What do you think? 

I LOVE hearing about creative solutions to co-parenting! It reminds me that there is no one-size-fits-all answer.  There is seriously a world of possibilities when two sides have an open mind.  ABC news featured a group of adults with only kids in common who decided to rent a house and shelter in place ALL TOGETHER to the benefit of the kids they share!  What a beautiful gesture at a troubling time.  Their kids will undoubtably look back and see this crisis as a positive life experience even though it will be a crazy adjustment for everyone.  

KSL.com recently posted an article about conflicts arising in families due to being home all the time with your family.  The author, Kim Giles, sites the two main reasons/fears associated with common conflicts are:

• The fear of failure (that I might not be good enough)
• the fear of loss (that I might be mistreated or lose something)

I have found that we all suffer from both these fears to some degree every day. But I've noticed each person also has one of these two core fears that is their primary bad behavior trigger. If a person ever behaves badly or starts a fight, it is usually their same core fear that has been triggered. I call this your dominant core fear.

She later recommends:

Do not talk down to others. See them as equal and talk to them with love and respect. Try to use "I" statements, not "you" statements. "You are making me feel unloved" is an attack; "I am feeling unloved" is the truth.
Talk about your fear issues and feelings, and ask if the other person might be willing to help you by changing some behavior moving forward. Focus totally on the future behavior you want to see, not past behavior that they cannot change.

These issues and changes in behavior can be discussed in a safe setting like mediation where an unbiased third party can facilitate communication and understanding.