WKRN.com is reporting that more couples are in need of marriage counseling services during the pandemic.  The couples usually have unresolved issues in their relationship and due to having to spend 24 hours a day together, they can’t ignore those issues or avoid them.  If counseling during the pandemic is not possible for a couple, they recommend “Time outs” where individuals have time apart, even if they are in the same house.  Click on the image to see the report or read more on this topic.  

You don’t have to be a celebrity to get good legal advice. People magazine posted an article by Celebrity Lawyer Laura Wasser.  Some of her clients include: Jennifer Garner, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise and Kim Kardashian.  The main take away is something she says regularly: “try and utilize the three Cs: consideration, cooperation and communication. Adaptation and flexibility is key during this time,” says Wasser, 51. “A big part of this is the communication. Whenever there’s change, you have a situation where people are having to adapt to that change.”

​I couldn’t agree more.  Although there are plenty of reasons to fight harder during this time, there is also an opportunity to turn in and slow down as well.  

I found this article on Cornell University’s website fascinating!  I knew there were already some forms of “tone meter” when you text or message through some applications, but this is next level.  I can certainly see how AI could do a better job at being unbiased, but I think the human factor or being able to read body language and power dynamics are also extremely important in mediation.  What do you think? 

I LOVE hearing about creative solutions to co-parenting! It reminds me that there is no one-size-fits-all answer.  There is seriously a world of possibilities when two sides have an open mind.  ABC news featured a group of adults with only kids in common who decided to rent a house and shelter in place ALL TOGETHER to the benefit of the kids they share!  What a beautiful gesture at a troubling time.  Their kids will undoubtably look back and see this crisis as a positive life experience even though it will be a crazy adjustment for everyone.  

KSL.com recently posted an article about conflicts arising in families due to being home all the time with your family.  The author, Kim Giles, sites the two main reasons/fears associated with common conflicts are:

• The fear of failure (that I might not be good enough)
• the fear of loss (that I might be mistreated or lose something)

I have found that we all suffer from both these fears to some degree every day. But I've noticed each person also has one of these two core fears that is their primary bad behavior trigger. If a person ever behaves badly or starts a fight, it is usually their same core fear that has been triggered. I call this your dominant core fear.

She later recommends:

Do not talk down to others. See them as equal and talk to them with love and respect. Try to use "I" statements, not "you" statements. "You are making me feel unloved" is an attack; "I am feeling unloved" is the truth.
Talk about your fear issues and feelings, and ask if the other person might be willing to help you by changing some behavior moving forward. Focus totally on the future behavior you want to see, not past behavior that they cannot change.

These issues and changes in behavior can be discussed in a safe setting like mediation where an unbiased third party can facilitate communication and understanding.  

The Taunton Gazette in New York wrote an insightful article about the sudden need for mediation and parenting plans amid the pandemic. ````````````````````With new orders everyday for people to isolate, quarantine or lock down, how will you and your children adapt?  

How will your custody change?
How do your views on how to address this align and conflict?
With job losses, how will child support change?

There are no shortage of questions to be worked through and unless you have an emergency order, most of these issues will not be resolved in a courtroom.  

Mediation can be a good route to developing a plan that works for everyone.  Putting your child(ren)’s needs first will ensure that they are less traumatized during this upset.  

Fill out a contact form today to book a mediation session where you can develop a COVID-19 parenting plan together.