I don't often look to celebrities for their life choices, but in this case, it's great to see what ANYONE is doing for co-parenting that WORKS. Co-parenting is such an essential part of an divorce. It requires a lot of planning, communication and coordination.
If you're looking to be inspired, check out this article on insider.com
5 Signs Mediation Won’t Work for Your Divorce, According to a Mediation Expert - Dr. jann blackstoneRead Now
A new article on Yahoo.com goes over 5 basic signs that mediation may not prove to be productive.
Dr. Jann Blackstone says they are:
1. There’s So Much Animosity, You Can’t Talk to Each Other
2. There’s a History of Drug or Alcohol Abuse or Domestic Violence
3. There’s a Mental Health Issue
4. There’s No Seeing Eye-to-Eye on Custody
5. One—or Both—Parties Aren’t Willing to Put in the Time Needed to Sort Things Out
For more details and information, click on the link. In the State of Utah, parents seeking divorce are REQUIRED to attempt mediation unless they have a court exception. Just because it might not be productive does not mean you can avoid it all together. If you are looking for a mediator, reach out to us today and schedule your mediation.
The Digital Journal posted this about the costs of litigated divorce vs. mediated divorce.
"When going through a divorce process, money is often the last thing people want to add to their list of worries. Choosing to go through a litigated divorce is estimated to cost couples up to $32,000 and that’s if things go well as planned. In most cases, the cases don’t go well and even more money ends up being spent. Thankfully, mediated divorce offers a far more cost-effective alternative as everything can be mediated."
Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4715373#ixzz6Perjnhwq
Digital Journal just posted an article called 'Mediation is the Secret to a Simple and Cost-Effective Divorce.
Naturally, this may seem obvious, but may still be an under utilized option.
In many cases the emotional and mental distress caused by divorce can cause parties to have tunnel vision and render them incapable of thinking through possible alternatives that are less-costly.
"Anger and disappointments are common feelings in most divorce negotiation processes. In most cases, the involved parties have a hard time reaching agreement on divorce issues such as child custody, division of property, child support, and visitation issues among others. However, mediation often provides the divorcing spouses an opportunity to take control of their future lives by resolving the contentious issues without the necessity of litigation."
Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4715373#ixzz6PeqffwL5
Lexology.com featured a great article discussing the challenges of co-parenting during COVID-19. It may seem obvious that communication is not only important but essential in new ways during this “new normal”. They recommend finding the most effective means of communication and agreeing upon terms and use of that communication. It is important that co-parents are open and forthcoming about how they plan to approach parenting during their time. These methods of improved communication can be discussed and organized without tension in mediation. Contact us to schedule today.
You don’t have to be a celebrity to get good legal advice. People magazine posted an article by Celebrity Lawyer Laura Wasser. Some of her clients include: Jennifer Garner, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise and Kim Kardashian. The main take away is something she says regularly: “try and utilize the three Cs: consideration, cooperation and communication. Adaptation and flexibility is key during this time,” says Wasser, 51. “A big part of this is the communication. Whenever there’s change, you have a situation where people are having to adapt to that change.”
I couldn’t agree more. Although there are plenty of reasons to fight harder during this time, there is also an opportunity to turn in and slow down as well.
KSL.com recently posted an article about conflicts arising in families due to being home all the time with your family. The author, Kim Giles, sites the two main reasons/fears associated with common conflicts are:
I have found that we all suffer from both these fears to some degree every day. But I've noticed each person also has one of these two core fears that is their primary bad behavior trigger. If a person ever behaves badly or starts a fight, it is usually their same core fear that has been triggered. I call this your dominant core fear.
She later recommends:
Do not talk down to others. See them as equal and talk to them with love and respect. Try to use "I" statements, not "you" statements. "You are making me feel unloved" is an attack; "I am feeling unloved" is the truth.
Talk about your fear issues and feelings, and ask if the other person might be willing to help you by changing some behavior moving forward. Focus totally on the future behavior you want to see, not past behavior that they cannot change.
These issues and changes in behavior can be discussed in a safe setting like mediation where an unbiased third party can facilitate communication and understanding.
Familylawweek.co.uk posted an article about how to have mediation during a lockdown. They mention a lot of the issues that may need to be addressed during a lockdown situation:
What are some of the issues that could be addressed in mediation, that separated parents are facing during this unprecedented time?
The following is by no means an exhaustive list, but sets out some examples:
It is always helpful to look at other resources and see what other mediators are addressing during these ever-changing circumstances. If you need mediation to discuss these issues, contact us today. Don’t wait.
Law.com posted an article discussing how fortunate it is that the legal profession can thrive virtually as the many other industries are unable to adapt. They focus a few paragraphs on Mediation specifically and how it is essentially the same as in-person:
The Zoom technology is remarkably easy to use. The virtual mediations I’ve done so far have involved participants covering the entire spectrum of computer prowess, and all have fared quite well. More importantly, the real engine of successful mediations–personal connections—hits on all eight cylinders in the virtual format. Following one recent virtual mediation of a significant injury case, the defense attorney told me how she was able to adjust her comments in the opening by reading the reaction of the plaintiff on the video. Just as with in-person mediations, the real-time feedback is there.
So, from the perspective of our clients, virtual mediations have been an unequivocal success. And I can also say that, from a mediator’s perspective, it is no less so. Success for mediators comes only when we can personally connect with the parties and counsel. A quote attributed to Teddy Roosevelt says, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” At the mediation of any significant case, there comes a point when I am leading clients, step by step, to a place that, though necessary to get to, is tough terrain to traverse. If they don’t trust my judgment and motivation, they won’t take my hand. If you had asked me, even weeks ago, if this level of rapport could be established over a virtual medium, I would have said, “No way.” I was wrong. Happily, thankfully, mercifully, I was very wrong.
Done Medation plans to resume all mediations via videoconferencing using Zoom as mentioned in this article. To schedule a mediation for yourself, contact us today.
timminstoday.com posted an article recently that gave some helpful tips to divorced parents. Click on the link above to read it for yourself. They gave much of the same advice as other articles mentioned in this blog pertaining to COVID-19, but they bring up the idea of keeping on task with creating a “temporary” parenting plan and leaving the big issues for later in this way:
Nail down off-limit conversations
After ensuring children’s physical safety is looked after, Stewart advises mapping out how to protect their emotional health. One way is to put all conversations that lead to heated arguments or stress on hold.
“We’re not going to talk about the future financial situation. We’re not going to talk about long-term custody arrangements,” Stewart said.
“We are going to deal with this short term. So there should be some conversations that are taken off the table until this is done. If you’re dealing with lawyers, put them at bay.”
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.