abc4 news recently posted a story about the necessity of custody orders for parents who are separating or divorced.
“In order to go to a trial, you have to go to mediation first anyway.” He added that doing this as soon as possible may end up saving couples time, money, and even help to maintain a cordial relationship between parents. “I tell people a lot, if you are already agreeing on almost everything, go to mediation right away before something happens.”
Done Mediation strives to help parents develop clear and concise parenting plans that have enforceable measures to protect children as needed.
The story also says:
Should the cordial relationship among parents sour in the future, the custody order may provide additional security if the police need to become involved. Felt further explained: “If there is no court document, most of the time the police can only say, ‘I’m sorry, there is no order, there is nothing I can do about this. You need to take it to the court.’”
Conflict between parents arises when one or both parties feel that their needs or expectations are not being met by the other. Often times these areas of conflict can be avoided in the first place by having well thought out and clearly defined parenting plans in custody orders.
It is vitally important that co-parents discuss what type of interaction and dynamic they want to have as co-parents. In cases of high-conflict, it is often in the best interests for all parties that there be very limited interaction and clear boundaries to assure the comfort and safety of those bound by that order.
For help with developing or modifying a custody order or parenting plan, contact Done Mediation today or schedule a session of mediation now.
I found this interesting article on Babygaga.com about "parallel parenting" as opposed to co-parenting. The jist of it is that parallel parenting is ideal in cases where the parents to a child engage in a more business like relationship when it comes to parenting. Co-parenting is only possible when the two parents involved can communicate and work together on a mutually agreed upon parenting plan. When communication and collaboration are not possible, parallel parenting is the next best thing. Read more about parallel parenting here.
5 Signs Mediation Won’t Work for Your Divorce, According to a Mediation Expert - Dr. jann blackstoneRead Now
A new article on Yahoo.com goes over 5 basic signs that mediation may not prove to be productive.
Dr. Jann Blackstone says they are:
1. There’s So Much Animosity, You Can’t Talk to Each Other
2. There’s a History of Drug or Alcohol Abuse or Domestic Violence
3. There’s a Mental Health Issue
4. There’s No Seeing Eye-to-Eye on Custody
5. One—or Both—Parties Aren’t Willing to Put in the Time Needed to Sort Things Out
For more details and information, click on the link. In the State of Utah, parents seeking divorce are REQUIRED to attempt mediation unless they have a court exception. Just because it might not be productive does not mean you can avoid it all together. If you are looking for a mediator, reach out to us today and schedule your mediation.
KSL.com recently posted an article about conflicts arising in families due to being home all the time with your family. The author, Kim Giles, sites the two main reasons/fears associated with common conflicts are:
I have found that we all suffer from both these fears to some degree every day. But I've noticed each person also has one of these two core fears that is their primary bad behavior trigger. If a person ever behaves badly or starts a fight, it is usually their same core fear that has been triggered. I call this your dominant core fear.
She later recommends:
Do not talk down to others. See them as equal and talk to them with love and respect. Try to use "I" statements, not "you" statements. "You are making me feel unloved" is an attack; "I am feeling unloved" is the truth.
Talk about your fear issues and feelings, and ask if the other person might be willing to help you by changing some behavior moving forward. Focus totally on the future behavior you want to see, not past behavior that they cannot change.
These issues and changes in behavior can be discussed in a safe setting like mediation where an unbiased third party can facilitate communication and understanding.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.