I found this interesting article on Babygaga.com about "parallel parenting" as opposed to co-parenting.  The jist of it is that parallel parenting is ideal in cases where the parents to a child engage in a more business like relationship when it comes to parenting.  Co-parenting is only possible when the two parents involved can communicate and work together on a mutually agreed upon parenting plan.  When communication and collaboration are not possible, parallel parenting is the next best thing.  Read more about parallel parenting here.  

An item of future conflict that is often overlooked when knee-deep in a divorce, is how both parties will address relationships with significant others in the future.  

The goal of mediation is to reduce the amount of conflict not only during divorce, but in a way that sets up a good foundation to avoid conflict in the future. 

This is a good article with a free worksheet for co-parents to use as a reference.  There is a lot to consider when it comes to when and how to introduce a new romantic partner to your co-parent and kids.  

Hello Divorce 

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I don't often look to celebrities for their life choices, but in this case, it's great to see what ANYONE is doing for co-parenting that WORKS.  Co-parenting is such an essential part of an divorce.  It requires a lot of planning, communication and coordination.  

If you're looking to be inspired, check out this article on insider.com 

A new article on Yahoo.com goes over 5 basic signs that mediation may not prove to be productive. 

Dr. Jann Blackstone says they are:
1. There’s So Much Animosity, You Can’t Talk to Each Other
2. There’s a History of Drug or Alcohol Abuse or Domestic Violence
3. There’s a Mental Health Issue
4. There’s No Seeing Eye-to-Eye on Custody
5. One—or Both—Parties Aren’t Willing to Put in the Time Needed to Sort Things Out

​For more details and information, click on the link.  In the State of Utah, parents seeking divorce are REQUIRED to attempt mediation unless they have a court exception.  Just because it might not be productive does not mean you can avoid it all together.  If you are looking for a mediator, reach out to us today and schedule your mediation.  

Digital Journal just posted an article called 'Mediation is the Secret to a Simple and Cost-Effective Divorce.  

Naturally, this may seem obvious, but may still be an under utilized option.  

In many cases the emotional and mental distress caused by divorce can cause parties to have tunnel vision and render them incapable of thinking through possible alternatives that are less-costly.  

"Anger and disappointments are common feelings in most divorce negotiation processes. In most cases, the involved parties have a hard time reaching agreement on divorce issues such as child custody, division of property, child support, and visitation issues among others. However, mediation often provides the divorcing spouses an opportunity to take control of their future lives by resolving the contentious issues without the necessity of litigation."

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4715373#ixzz6PeqffwL5

Lexology.com featured a great article discussing the challenges of co-parenting during COVID-19.  It may seem obvious that communication is not only important but essential in new ways during this “new normal”.  They recommend finding the most effective means of communication and agreeing upon terms and use of that communication.  It is important that co-parents are open and forthcoming about how they plan to approach parenting during their time.  These methods of improved communication can be discussed and organized without tension in mediation.  Contact us to schedule today.  

WKRN.com is reporting that more couples are in need of marriage counseling services during the pandemic.  The couples usually have unresolved issues in their relationship and due to having to spend 24 hours a day together, they can’t ignore those issues or avoid them.  If counseling during the pandemic is not possible for a couple, they recommend “Time outs” where individuals have time apart, even if they are in the same house.  Click on the image to see the report or read more on this topic.  

I found this article on Cornell University’s website fascinating!  I knew there were already some forms of “tone meter” when you text or message through some applications, but this is next level.  I can certainly see how AI could do a better job at being unbiased, but I think the human factor or being able to read body language and power dynamics are also extremely important in mediation.  What do you think? 

I LOVE hearing about creative solutions to co-parenting! It reminds me that there is no one-size-fits-all answer.  There is seriously a world of possibilities when two sides have an open mind.  ABC news featured a group of adults with only kids in common who decided to rent a house and shelter in place ALL TOGETHER to the benefit of the kids they share!  What a beautiful gesture at a troubling time.  Their kids will undoubtably look back and see this crisis as a positive life experience even though it will be a crazy adjustment for everyone.  

KSL.com recently posted an article about conflicts arising in families due to being home all the time with your family.  The author, Kim Giles, sites the two main reasons/fears associated with common conflicts are:

• The fear of failure (that I might not be good enough)
• the fear of loss (that I might be mistreated or lose something)

I have found that we all suffer from both these fears to some degree every day. But I've noticed each person also has one of these two core fears that is their primary bad behavior trigger. If a person ever behaves badly or starts a fight, it is usually their same core fear that has been triggered. I call this your dominant core fear.

She later recommends:

Do not talk down to others. See them as equal and talk to them with love and respect. Try to use "I" statements, not "you" statements. "You are making me feel unloved" is an attack; "I am feeling unloved" is the truth.
Talk about your fear issues and feelings, and ask if the other person might be willing to help you by changing some behavior moving forward. Focus totally on the future behavior you want to see, not past behavior that they cannot change.

These issues and changes in behavior can be discussed in a safe setting like mediation where an unbiased third party can facilitate communication and understanding.