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6/18/2020

Mediation Is the Secret to a Simple and Cost-Effective Divorce (by digitaljournal.com)

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Digital Journal just posted an article called 'Mediation is the Secret to a Simple and Cost-Effective Divorce.  

Naturally, this may seem obvious, but may still be an under utilized option.  

In many cases the emotional and mental distress caused by divorce can cause parties to have tunnel vision and render them incapable of thinking through possible alternatives that are less-costly.  

"Anger and disappointments are common feelings in most divorce negotiation processes. In most cases, the involved parties have a hard time reaching agreement on divorce issues such as child custody, division of property, child support, and visitation issues among others. However, mediation often provides the divorcing spouses an opportunity to take control of their future lives by resolving the contentious issues without the necessity of litigation."

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/4715373#ixzz6PeqffwL5

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6/10/2020

Communication and co-parenting during Covid-19

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Lexology.com featured a great article discussing the challenges of co-parenting during COVID-19.  It may seem obvious that communication is not only important but essential in new ways during this “new normal”.  They recommend finding the most effective means of communication and agreeing upon terms and use of that communication.  It is important that co-parents are open and forthcoming about how they plan to approach parenting during their time.  These methods of improved communication can be discussed and organized without tension in mediation.  Contact us to schedule today.  
Family law, co-parenting article

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4/7/2020

Marriage counseling during pandemic

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WKRN.com is reporting that more couples are in need of marriage counseling services during the pandemic.  The couples usually have unresolved issues in their relationship and due to having to spend 24 hours a day together, they can’t ignore those issues or avoid them.  If counseling during the pandemic is not possible for a couple, they recommend “Time outs” where individuals have time apart, even if they are in the same house.  Click on the image to see the report or read more on this topic.  
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4/5/2020

Laura Wasser on disputes during coronavirus

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You don’t have to be a celebrity to get good legal advice. People magazine posted an article by Celebrity Lawyer Laura Wasser.  Some of her clients include: Jennifer Garner, Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise and Kim Kardashian.  The main take away is something she says regularly: “try and utilize the three Cs: consideration, cooperation and communication. Adaptation and flexibility is key during this time,” says Wasser, 51. “A big part of this is the communication. Whenever there’s change, you have a situation where people are having to adapt to that change.”

​I couldn’t agree more.  Although there are plenty of reasons to fight harder during this time, there is also an opportunity to turn in and slow down as well.  
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3/30/2020

Fears that cause conflict in families during covid-19

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KSL.com recently posted an article about conflicts arising in families due to being home all the time with your family.  The author, Kim Giles, sites the two main reasons/fears associated with common conflicts are:

  • The fear of failure (that I might not be good enough)
  • the fear of loss (that I might be mistreated or lose something)


I have found that we all suffer from both these fears to some degree every day. But I've noticed each person also has one of these two core fears that is their primary bad behavior trigger. If a person ever behaves badly or starts a fight, it is usually their same core fear that has been triggered. I call this your dominant core fear.

She later recommends:

Do not talk down to others. See them as equal and talk to them with love and respect. Try to use "I" statements, not "you" statements. "You are making me feel unloved" is an attack; "I am feeling unloved" is the truth.
Talk about your fear issues and feelings, and ask if the other person might be willing to help you by changing some behavior moving forward. Focus totally on the future behavior you want to see, not past behavior that they cannot change.

These issues and changes in behavior can be discussed in a safe setting like mediation where an unbiased third party can facilitate communication and understanding.  


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3/30/2020

Family law week on covid-19 lockdown mediation

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Familylawweek.co.uk posted an article about how to have mediation during a lockdown.  They mention a lot of the issues that may need to be addressed during a lockdown situation: 

What are some of the issues that could be addressed in mediation, that separated parents are facing during this unprecedented time?

The following is by no means an exhaustive list, but sets out some examples:
  • The other parent refuses to talk to me about anything to do with the impact of Covid 19 on our parenting
  • I have symptoms of Covid 19 but my child is fine so can't they still go to the other parent and give me a break?
  • My child has symptoms of Covid 19 and so I want to keep them at home but the other parent is saying they think they have already had the virus and so are insisting that they are equally able to provide care
  • I am frightened that letting my child travel to the other parent will increase their risk of getting Covid 19
  • The other parent does not trust me to be as careful as them so they won't let my child come to stay with me at the moment
  • I want the care arrangements to continue because I need to work but the other parent says I am the main carer and should prioritise our child
  • Now that my child is not at school, and it's not school holidays, the other parent refuses to share the care of the child during what would have been the school day
  • I want to discuss changing the arrangements for the school holidays because we will now not be going away on holiday
  • I want to discuss other ways of having contact with my children whilst I have symptoms
  • I normally see my children in a contact centre but I have been told it is closed.


It is always helpful to look at other resources and see what other mediators are addressing during these ever-changing circumstances.  If you need mediation to discuss these issues, contact us today.  Don’t wait. 

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3/30/2020

Co-parenting in the covid-19 crisis

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timminstoday.com posted an article recently that gave some helpful tips to divorced parents.  Click on the link above to read it for yourself.  They gave much of the same advice as other articles mentioned in this blog pertaining to COVID-19, but they bring up the idea of keeping on task with creating a “temporary” parenting plan and leaving the big issues for later in this way: 

Nail down off-limit conversations
After ensuring children’s physical safety is looked after, Stewart advises mapping out how to protect their emotional health. One way is to put all conversations that lead to heated arguments or stress on hold.
“We’re not going to talk about the future financial situation. We’re not going to talk about long-term custody arrangements,” Stewart said.
“We are going to deal with this short term. So there should be some conversations that are taken off the table until this is done. If you’re dealing with lawyers, put them at bay.”


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3/29/2020

Advice to help divorced parents

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The Taunton Gazette in New York wrote an insightful article about the sudden need for mediation and parenting plans amid the pandemic. ````````````````````With new orders everyday for people to isolate, quarantine or lock down, how will you and your children adapt?  

How will your custody change?
How do your views on how to address this align and conflict?
With job losses, how will child support change?

There are no shortage of questions to be worked through and unless you have an emergency order, most of these issues will not be resolved in a courtroom.  

Mediation can be a good route to developing a plan that works for everyone.  Putting your child(ren)’s needs first will ensure that they are less traumatized during this upset.  

Fill out a contact form today to book a mediation session where you can develop a COVID-19 parenting plan together. 
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3/29/2020

COVID-19 Parenting plan

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COVID-19 is forcing us to take things one step at a time... During these uncertain times, it’s good to have plans. One of the most important plans to have in place if you’re a divorced/separated parent, is a PARENTING PLAN. A mediator like me can help you get one in place specific to this Pandemic and the ever evolving adaptations we’re all undergoing. WHO and HOW will at-home education be addressed? WHAT should we tell/not tell the kids about what is going on in the world? These times are hard enough, being on the same page with your co-parent is vital. Contact me today to set up a virtual parenting plan session. #virtual #parenting#covid19 #mediation #parentingplan#custody #kidsfirst #socialdistancing
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3/29/2020

Custody issues in a time of coronavirus

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The Boston Herald recently posted an article called ‘Custody Issues in a Time of Coronavirus’.  A mother who works from home and has 3 school aged children is suddenly taking care of them full-time and asks their father to pay additional child support during this time as she cannot maintain full-time hours and is now caring for the children 24/7.  Author Wendy Hickey offers great legal advice on how to approach the conversation, prepare documentation, and the legal path forward.  

It seems this couple had a partial resolution for their parenting plan and failed to make it to the finish line.  A quick session of mediation might have helped fill in the gaps and relieve a lot of stress for everyone in the future.  

If you have questions about what the future holds during this pandemic, schedule a session of mediation today.  
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